Avoiding Conflict During Divorce with Mediation Part I

Divorce is never easy. It is usually full of many emotions, sometimes coming one right after another. You may have days where you hate your ex-spouse and days where you can’t believe that he or she is no longer in your life.

As you start to go through the divorce process and divide up your assets (and figure out how you are both going to move forward), it can be tricky. Anger, pain, betrayal, and grief makes the process even harder. Many people try to hurt their ex as much as possible.

Mediation is a way for a couple to get through the divorce without ending up in court. It allows both of you (with your lawyers) to hammer out the details without spending days and weeks fighting in court.

If you decide to go through mediation, you need to be prepared to work with your ex and both of your lawyers. You are going to have to find ways to avoid conflict so that it goes as smoothly as possible.

Here are some tips to help you avoid conflict through mediation.

Go into mediation prepared to make compromises. If you are serious about going through arbitration instead of the court system, you are going to have to be prepared to make compromises. It is important to know that you are not going to get everything that you want. You are going to have to be ready to work with your ex, to finalize your divorce.

Because of this, you need to know what you want, what would be nice, and what you don’t care about. There are going to be some things that you know that you need to have and there are going to be things that you want but are not going to be a deal breaker for you. There are going to be things that you are going to be able to let go, knowing that you are one step closer to getting your divorced finalized.

It is important to know that this doesn’t just include possessions. It can also include custody of your children, as well as your financial future. Think about what are deal breakers and what is not. You may have to compromise on a few things for the greater good of your family, but it should be worth it.

Have points ready to discuss your thoughts on dividing up your assets. Once you determine your deal breakers, you should come up with some reasons. Mediation is a chance for the both of you to be heard so that you can work together to come up with a compromise. However, first, you need to know what you are going to say.

Once your turn is over, you need to be prepared to listen. Too many people half-listen when others talk, especially during a time of conflict. They are too busy trying to figure out what they are going to say next that they completely miss what the other person is trying to say.

For mediation to work, you both need to take time to talk and listen so that you can come up with a solution that is going to work for the both of you (and your family).

If you are serious about getting through your divorce without conflict, you should try mediation. It gives each of you a chance to discuss your thoughts so you can come to a mutual divorce settlement.

However, before you get started, you need to know not only what your deal breakers are but also the things on which you are willing to compromise. You are going to have to go into the process ready to compromise. If you are out for battle, you should go to court because it is never going to work.